The End

I guess the title of my first blog is a little out of the ordinary. I mean, most people don’t start a book or a blog with the end being the first thing they read, but almost everyone wants to come up with their own ideas of what the end is going to reveal. I know there may be a few people that like to cheat and read the end of a book before they start it, but I’ll tell you…It really spoils the whole journey.

Sometimes I think life’s a bit like a book.

I know from personal experience I have always thought I knew the purpose of things when I was going though them. I thought my job I took right out of college was to help bolster my career and to provide a stepping stone to an even better position. I found out after I quit that job, a year later, that the real purpose of that job was to help me get over my social anxiety. I will tell you, the quickest way to get over social anxiety is to get a job in sales. Practice makes perfect they say, and while i am far from perfect, the amount of communicating I had to do in that job helped me grow so much as far as my social and work life was concerned.

I thought the purpose of the relationship I was in was to find love. Which I’m sure is probably what most girls think in a relationship. We all want to find that happily ever after story. I also really thought my purpose was to help this certain someone find God again. I was so absolutely certain that’s what the purpose of the relationship was. Now that I’m not in that relationship I certainly see things quite differently. I can see several reasons for that relationship none of which are what I thought they were. The first purpose was to humble myself. I thought I could change somebody. I’ve always been a fixer, but I couldn’t fix this. I also think I never really knew God until I was in this relationship. I knew a book full of rules, but I didn’t understand much of anything else. That all changed though and I think it’s because God has a way of breaking people down to rock bottom so they can be lifted up. The ascent wouldn’t be as great if you were already at the top. I also knew a lot of self righteousness. I’ll tell you a huge lesson I learned… It’s something I read from somebody else but it is so true…”seeds of hatred will eventually take hold and bear bitter fruit.” Most of the things I judged people so harshly of I ended up doing or becoming. It made me realize how much of a mess I make when I live by my own terms. But it also did something else pretty amazing. It helped me realize that i am destined for great things, and I deserve great things. Not because of anything I do, but because that’s what God wants for me.

Right now I’m moving and I’m changing jobs. And I’m so certain I am being lead there to find people with similar interests as me. And to help assist with the homeless and the broken. But if I learned anything from my past, it’s that usually whatever plans I have for myself, they are never as great as what is truly in store for me.

So yes, life is definitely like a book. And I urge each and every one of you to stop reading ahead. Most likely you’ll read things out of context and you won’t get the story right at all. And even if you do get it right you’ll miss the journey that’s in front of you, because you keep longing for tomorrow, and not living for today. Stop trying to be the author. You probably aren’t a very good one. I guarantee you even if we can’t understand it now, the author that’s in charge of your life has a way better ending than you could even imagine.

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