A Path Back Home

“There is a price to pay for speaking the truth, there is a bigger price to pay for living a lie” – Cornel West

For as long as I can remember I have been a shy and quiet person. In elementary school, my parents were required to take me to a specialist for an evaluation, because I was so quiet that the school officials thought I had some other type of issue going on. My mom, on the other hand, knew that there was nothing the specialist was going to find, because I would chatter non-stop when I got home from school. Not surprisingly to her, or to anyone else close to me, the specialist could not find anything of concern. I was just shy.

I think I have maintained that same sense of shyness, and introversion my entire life. That is not to say that I don’t have a lot to say, or can’t be outgoing at times, but I trust very few people with my innermost thoughts. For me, those thoughts are cherished, and not all deserve to know them. I keep them locked away for those that earn my trust, and few have gained that privilege.

To top that off, conflict gives me anxiety. It is very real and extremely uncomfortable for me. My heart starts to race, my voice starts to shake, my hands tremble, I get faint, and my anxiety tells me I’m doing something I shouldn’t be doing, even if that is not the case. So, speaking my truth, as an introvert, with anxiety issues has always been hard.

As a person that has a colorful inner world and is deeply self-reflective, I often grapple with saying and doing what is right, and going against that feeling of impending doom that anxiety often causes.

There are also other things that I believe not only myself, but others often struggle with when speaking up and speaking our truths. Sometimes being bold, and brave, is not accepted. Sometimes it has adverse effects on relationships, jobs, and situations. Sometimes speaking up about injustices, or things that are wrong, have rippling effects in our lives, and others. Afterall the revolutionary leaders that spoke up and stood up for the injustices of the world, like Martin Luther King Jr, and Rosa Parks were imprisoned and assassinated for doing what was right.

However there is also great comfort that comes from speaking your truth. When you take the step to follow your conscious and speak your mind, you take a step towards becoming the person you were destined to be. Every step of our journey is a learning lesson, and a path back home to the person we were created to be, and that is a legacy that nobody can take away.